Whats in a name?

With a name as unique as Helynea, meaning are about as easy to come across as it is for teachers to pronounce my name. Helynea could be derived from Helen or Helene from Greek mythology, it translates to "torch" or "corposant."  In Greek mythology Helen was the daughter of Zeus and Leda, she is responsible for starting the Trojan War. Personally I have never started a war however I have been told that I have a very bright and empowering personality. Similar to fire I spread my ideas quickly, thrive in open spaces and burn anyone who ventures to close. However in the same breath, I am also like fire in the ways that I will burn out if I don’t get enough air, I catch fire too quickly and I am also very destructive by nature. 

Helynea could also be closely related to σεληνη (spelled Selene pronounced with a soft H) which translates to "moon." To me, the Moon is typically characterized as being mysterious, wise or powerful Wanders and star-gazers look to the moon and the stars for answers. The Moon is used in fairytales and stories as this great beacon of mystery, wisdom or power.  This meaning doesn’t always correlate with my life but it is still important, the days that I am not burning like a torch I’m detached and mysterious like the moon. That’s when I’m the most like myself, when I can’t be set on fire by someone else’s gasoline or blown out by someone. Not all the time am I like this, for I am mostly the top translation mostly.

Although both of those translations aren’t technically my name they are both uniquely me.

Helynea is a creation of her surroundings and experiences. The Helynea that lived in Florida is a completely different Helynea then the one that lives in North Carolina. Honestly there are more than just two of me that exist in the world of other people, but the most prominent dilemmas are the ones that show Helynea as her surroundings. Those that know me in NC know that I’m very headstrong and I have no problem voicing my opinions (just ask Ms. Hicks 2A class from last year). The state of NC is a much more "approving" and "open" than Florida is, meaning that I won’t get persecuted completely for my opinions and that young adults here are more woke than in Florida. In NC, I feel safer being myself (and by myself I mean being openly queer or being a very strong feminist). In Florida I hide under the umbrella that society placed me in. I stayed asleep under that umbrella because that was where I felt safe. I was outgoing in a different way (between you and me I was an ass in Florida), but the people in Florida didn’t know me despite living there for 12 years. I still have friends in Florida coming to terms with my sexuality. It was a thing of ignorance that I kept hiding under the labels that the society in Florida put me in. It was only recently that I have come to terms with the person I am and I’m still working on the person that I could be. More than one Helynea exist in this world because I’m constantly changing me so that I can be better.